When A Victim Of Lolicon Meets A Shotacon
by Serena094
Summary: CRACK PAIRING! A date with Oz turns out another failure. Now Alice, in the park, meets up with Echo and two talk strongly on their beliefs about girl to girl and guy to guy relationships; whilst finding out Echo's a victim of loli and Alice is a shota. #3


In between juggling two-fics I decided to make this, my first yuri one-shot. I hope its comedic and you'll like it. For those who don't really like yuri: - safe to say it's basically rated K+ but the actual story is T for a few adult themes.

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><p>Alice was nervous. Her bow seemed too tight on her neck and her shoes a little bit <em>too<em> dark on this special occasion. Oz however looked completely natural. Of course, he probably dated (and courted) a few hundred girls already with those boyish looks of his.

She felt her face redden in anger and cheeks puff up at the thought of it. She was bought back to reality by Oz. "So Alice, what do you think of this rose?"

"Stupid man-servant," she snarled. "I see no rose!" Oz smiled and whipped something out of his pocket. Grasping her hand, he gently opened it and laid a small orchid on her hand.

Alice, shocked and embarrassed, didn't know what to say and proceeded to do what she always did when Oz did stupid stuff like this. She hit him on the head and loudly commented on the magic act. "P-pah! What rose? All I s- see is an orchid!"

She hoped Oz didn't hear her stutter. She was already busy trying to stop her blush from becoming darker. But he simply patted the bruise and smiled, as if that was what his desired affect was.

And suddenly he pushed her to the smooth tree trunk- fingering her bow and puckering his soft lips. Alice really wasn't sure how to feel in this type of weather, she had her first kiss stolen in an accident by Break- then called Kevin- and she did kiss Oz when they were crafting the contract but that was somewhat… how should she call it… fan-service…?

This seemed genuine and her instincts caused her to mirror his expressions. Oz must've took it for a sign and gently, ever so closely inched his head closer to-

"GILBERT-KUN! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING FROM ME?" Vincent screamed. Chasing after his brother in a speed the not yet invented Ferrari was based off. The moment that would _have_ lasted like a thousand fireworks was horrendously broken and Oz- with his face colored a beautiful shade of red- looked at her in the eyes.

Their long-walk in the park was ruined and Alice couldn't do anything but nod- even her Insult O'metre couldn't help.

Oz smiled and did a chivalrous bow before running after Vincent, screaming: "VINCENT, DIDN'T WE ALREADY MAKE THE TRADE? I GIVE YOU THOSE CONDOMS AND YOU WOULD STOP BUGGING GIL!"

After the sound of their screaming and running had died down, Alice sighed and her shoulders slumped. She had wanted to remember this day but she guessed it'd just be another failure.

Walking to a nearby bench, she sat. Stomping her legs, she yelled a sullen curse word.

"Will you stop that racket?"

Momentary shock cornered Alice as she was about to jump over the bench- thus knocking it over only for a hand to grasp her back down. Echo slid from under the bench and got up, patting invisible dust off her shirt-dress thing.

"Echo?" Alice asked dumb-struck. Was this some reunion?

She nodded before sitting down next to her.

"What are you doing here?"

And as usual Echo's voice resembled a droids. "I'm not sure myself. One minute I woke up and went to fetch Master since we had a meeting with the Baske- I mean- Santa Claus and wound up seeing a very horrid sight."

This was the first time Alice had seen her shiver, and like the books Sharon-nee-san kept; she gently stroked her back in a comforting manner.

Echo did another shiver before replying. "Master Vincent and Master Gilbert were…-"she stopped there and Alice guessed that it was too horrifying to speak off.

Instead she got up and stood in front of her, stomping her foot in front of Echo. With a loud domineering voice, Alice said something that should've insulted her in some way but didn't at the same time. "I don't know why you hang out with that incestual master of yours. Didn't you see what he did to seaweed head last Tuesday?"

She nodded before saying something to back-stab Alice's comment, though, no harmful intention at the least. "I don't see why it's bad. Master Vincent loves Master Gil right?"

Alice nodded hesitantly.

"So it's not bad when someone loves another. Like you and Oz," she dead-panned.

Alice's porcelain face turned for a worse. "WHAT? I and Oz, there's nothing between us- I mean, there is but, you know what;- I don't have to answer to you! And also, Seaweed head's a guy and Vincent's a guy…" she cocked her head there. "I've heard that it's… bad…"

Even Echo was dumb-struck.

"Why's it wrong for a guy to like a guy?" she asked.

Alice shrugged and nodded. "You're right, why is it wrong?"

"If a guy and guy relationship is OK, what about a girl to girl one?" the emotionless double-souled girl asked. Then Alice sat back down next to Echo. "So Echo, even if Vincent's your master, why stay with him?"

She shrugged before replying. "Why do you stay with Oz if he's useless?" Alice stopped there. Even she wasn't sure of the heart-throbbing sensation called "love", let alone _this_. Suddenly, an idea struck her head.

"As I was saying; you're like my age and Vincent's… 20-something. Isn't that… something like… lolicon?" she asked.

Echo, face confused, replied with a rather estranged voice. "I'm not sure. Aren't you a shotacon then Alice-kun?"

She doubled-back and nearly choked on her own spit. "W-What? How can you accuse me of such… vile things?" Echo un-shamefully looked at her straight in the eyes. "Well, you were in the start of the Tragedy and you look like you're thirteen… but the Tragedy was over a hundred years ago so shouldn't you be… 113 years old?"

Her companion pondered on this. "Well you're somewhat right –" But our chain was interrupted. "And Oz… is… 15?"

"My age doesn't matter because I was sent to the abyss! So even if it did matter, it would've only been up to 20 years in there!" she decided. The statement itself was confusing but her seat-mate seemed to have caught on.

Echo nodded reluctantly before another piece of information flashed in her mind. "If you're thirteen now and if we just plus 20…" she started using her fingers to count; "You should be about 23~"

The chain nodded. A smug look on her face but it all came crashing down with what Echo said next:

"So if Oz spent fifteen years in real life, he should be pluses with one right, for being in the Abyss? So Oz is sixteen now, two years below legal age."

That's when Alice retorted rather heavily, "Vincent's, like, 20! And you're thirteen! So you _are_ a victim of lolicon and it's much worse than shotacon!"

"Why so?" Echo asked. She wasn't supposed to admit that she wasn't a victim of lolicon since both Master and her (Zwei) were both born at the time of late Sablier. And she definitely wasn't supposed to admit about the memories that Master had destroyed- that would provoke Alice-kun and she was well ware of B-rabbit's powers.

"Because everyone knows that girls can look good even in their forties!" Alice shouted.

The silver haired girl nodded before replying back to a previous topic. "So what's so wrong about girls loving girls?"

Alice's face turned into comedic confusion.

"I don't know…"

An idea struck her head and Alice smiled at this and grasped Echo with a hug. "I'll ask Sharon-nee-san when I get back. And if you visit, I'll be sure to tell you!" She dragged Echo off the bench and started to jump happily with her.

The chain's happiness had affected her and she smiled a pretty smile before pecking Alice quickly on the lips.

Alice didn't seem disturbed by this and hugged her even more.

That's when Break appeared behind a bush, his face in an angry frown and a large rope in his hands. "There you two are! You're the only sane ones here and I want to give these three back to you! You know where I found them? In my bathroom singing the Muffin man song!"

He threw a large bundle at them and it landed a foot from the two cheery- still hugging- girls. It turned out to be a happy Vincent holding onto a traumatic Gil and a very, _very_ annoyed Oz.

He was out in seconds and tore the girls apart, carrying Alice with unending strength. His shadow resembled her true form B-Rabbit.

Alice, shocked, slightly regretted with what she heard next. "STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRL NEXT TIME!," Oz screamed before running off into the distance carrying a frustrated Alice. Break followed suite, dancing a beautiful dance with Sharon and Emily in a redundant threesome.

Vincent was long out of the trap and had tied Gil with it, making sure to plaster his mouth shut in case anyone heard his cry for help. He tapped happily on Echo's shoulder: "Did you have fun here?" he asked.

She nodded happily and caressed her lips gently. She then turned to Vincent, "Master, are you planning on having us sleep in Gil's room tonight?"

Gil trashed his head around and attempted to scream. Vincent smiled, kicked him and nodded. "Yup, we definitely are, and this time I'm going to make sure I use chains now."

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><p>This is by far the best one-shot I've ever written XDDD<p> 


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